Busting Domicile Restrictions with Electronic Visitation

A domicile restriction is a clause in a divorce decree which orders that the children (and thus the parent(s) with custody) must live within a defined geographical area. The purpose of the clause is to keep the children and both parents living in the same geographical area, which in turn fulfills Texas Family Code Section 153.001 the Public Policy provision which states: " The Public Policy of this State is to: 1. assure that children will have frequent and continuing contact with parents whom have shown the ability to act in the best interests of the child;"

In the Harris County Courts, if a parent requests a domicile restriction, it is almost a given that it will be granted by the court. The courts will often restrict the children to Harris County or to Harris and contiguous counties. The clause will also normally include language that if one parent moves from the restricted area, the other parent is then free to move with the children.

Family Law attorneys will often get retained on cases to modify a divorce decree to remove, terminate or bust a domicile restriction. A parent for one reason or another will want to move with the children and many of them frequently feel as though they are being held hostage in a place where they do not want to be. These cases are obviously very difficult from both sides. A party wanting to move with the children has to demonstrate that it would be in the best interests of the children for them to move. This can be demonstrated or refuted with extremely thoughtful and careful planning and preparation.

A New York Judge in a recent case ruled that an unemployed Mother living on Long Island would be able to move with her two children to Florida to live with her parents. The ruling was conditioned upon the Mother making the children available on SKYPE to talk to their father. This case really sets an unbelievable precedent. Please see the ABA Journal article on the case below:

Family Law

Judge Orders Skype Visits as Condition of Mom’s Move

Posted Aug 12, 2010 12:03 PM CDT
By Molly McDonough

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A New York judge has ordered that a Long Island mother make her two children available to talk to their father via Skype, an online video conferencing service, as a condition of her move to Florida.

This is the first time such a condition has been made on a case in New York, the New York Law Journal reports. But last year, the New York Times reported that a number of states have begun allowing for "virtual visitation," giving judges the option to keep non-custodial parents in contact with their children via e-mail, instant messaging and Web cams.

In the New York case, Suffolk County Supreme Court Justice Jerry Garguilo, in Baker v. Baker, ordered that the mother, at her own expense, "will see to it, prior to re-location, that the Respondent, as well as the children, are provided the appropriate internet access via a Skype device which allows a real time broadcast of communications between the Respondent and his children."

The couple has been divorced since 2008 and the mother, who is unemployed, is planning to move to Florida where she can live with her parents and find work.

In granting the mother's request over the father's objections to his children moving, Garguilo noted that common sense makes clear that a move aimed at finding a better way to support the family is necessary.

Hat tip: Legal Blog Watch.

Also see:

ABA Journal (2005): "Live-Action Interaction: Virtual Visitation Diminishes Distances Between Divorced Parents and Their Kids "

Journal of Law and Family Studies (PDF): "Virtual Parents: How Virtual Visitation Legislation Is Shaping the Future of Custody Law"

Kids and Divorce

On the topic of Kids and Divorce there will never be enough new information or good advice. It is an overwhelming topic because of the negative long term ramifications when the separating and divorcing spouses fail to place the children at the forefront of all future decisions.

As divorce attorneys we see faulty decision making of single parents causing problems for the children all of the time. The innocent child or children whom were the only people not at fault in the failure of the marriage are left to truly suffer because of the selfishness, vengeance, or even sometimes sheer ignorance of the parents. How many times do I hear complaints that a parent will not let a child call the other parent during a period of possession or refuses to send the child's favorite clothes or toys t0 the home of the other parent on an exchange of possession. These are simply two examples of a multitude of ridiculous parental behavior. One or both of these examples happen time and time again in almost all of my high conflict cases. The child is the one having to move from home to home every few days, yet he/she cannot have her "favorite things" to soothe the transition.This would require nothing more than common human decency from a parent to their child. Instead we have parents treating their own children in a manner that they would not treat an acquaintance or even a stranger? It is also amazing that when you try and speak with the guilty party in these situations all they want to do is argue with you and tell you why they are justified. Why is it so hard for divorcing spouses to put the children at the forefront?

This post came about as a result of an an interesting article I read today by Jeanne Sager on AOL. It is entitled " How to talk to your Kids about Divorce." It has some interesting points for single parenting and for people in a Divorce and Custody situation. It also lists some books that are age appropriate for discussing divorce with children. I have included the text of the Jeanne Sager's article below.

How to Talk to Your Kids About Divorce

by Jeanne Sager (Subscribe to Jeanne Sager's posts) Aug 4th 2010 6:00PM

Categories: Divorce & Custody, Single Parenting

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Let kids know you will always love them, despite the divorce. Credit: dno1967, Flickr

Divorce is not an easy time for any family, but studies have shown the period leading up to the actual divorce can be one of the hardest for kids.

So, how have so many children emerged from divorced homes to become happy, healthy members of society? Their parents put in the time and effort to make it happen.

"The children need to know that they will always come first," advises Dr. Carole Lieberman, a California psychiatrist who's a member of the clinical faculty at UCLA. "Both parents -- and all their children -- need to be there when they break the news of divorce. And the most important messages to communicate are that it is not the child's fault and that the parents will still always love them."

Before, during and after the message is broken, parents need to be aware of what they're saying in front of the kids. A study completed at Cornell University in 2009, found kids in "high-conflict married households" fare no better than kids in single parent households. The researchers linked exposure to parental fighting to poor academic achievement, increased substance abuse and "early family formation and dissolution." If you can't get along in front of the kids, try e-mail.

When you're talking to the kids, Dr. John Mayer, a clinical psychologist from Chicago and author of "Family Fit: Find Your Balance," says to avoid saying the marriage's lack of success is "because of the kids or kid's problems." Instead, opt for phrasing such as "this will make us better parents, a better mom, a better dad. This is my promise to you children," Mayer says.

Your emotional state might be fragile, but so is a child's. A 2001 study from Ohio State University found kids were experiencing problems up to a year before the divorce was finalized. Marriage counseling is now a standard part of the divorce process in many states, but signing kids up for their own counseling sessions is also wise.

Check with your health insurance provider for covered therapy sources or contact the social worker at your child's school to set up an appointment. Divorce Care 4 Kids offers support groups for children going through a divorce across the U.S., and your child's school might suggest an alternate near you.

Finally, answer your child's questions.

"Don't urge your child to just 'get over it'," Lieberman says. "Do not expect the children to just accept this; be patient with all of their follow-up questions, crying and temper tantrums." Where possible, be as concrete as possible.

More resources

Reading a book can help quell fears and open the lines of communication between you and your child. Try a few of these:

Ages 4-8: "Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families" by Marc Brown and Laurie Krasny Brown. A book that normalizes feelings for kids, this is an age-appropriate answer to many of their questions.

For ages 9-12: "Divorced but Still My Parents" by Shirley Thomas. Written by a psychologist, this brings the nebulous issues of divorce down to the very real and easy to understand emotions pre-teens are dealing with.

For ages 12 and up: "The Divorce Express" by Paula Danziger. A fictionalized account of a teen being shuffled back and forth between her divorced parents, this novel will speak to kids who don't want to be told how to feel by a workbook or counselor. Instead, they'll identify themselves in the main character, and hopefully open up doors of communication.